Bob received a free ticket to the Superbowl from

his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at

the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row

in the corner of the stadium -- he is closer to the

Goodyear Blimp than the field.

About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed

an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50

yard line. He decided to take a chance and makes

his way through the stadium and around the security

guards to the empty seat.

As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next

to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"

The man said, "No."

Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game,

Bob said to the man next to him, "This is incredible!

Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at

the Superbowl and not use it?!"

The man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to

me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she

passed away. This is the first Superbowl we haven't

been to together since we got married in 1967."

"That's really sad," says Bob, "but still, couldn't you

find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close

friend?"

So Al Davis had put together the perfect Raiders

team for '96. The only thing he was missing was

a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges,

and even the high schools, and he couldn't find a

ringer quarterback that would ensure a SuperBowl win.

Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone

in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his

eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly

incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into

a15th story window 200 yards away--ka-boom! He

threw another hand grenade into a group of about 10

soldiers a good 110 yards away--ka-blooey! A car

passes going 90 miles an hour--bulls-eye! Right into

the barely open window. "I've got to get this guy," Al

says to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So he brings him to the States and teaches him the

great game of football.

Predictably, the young man breaks all the NFL records

for completed passes, and the Raiders go on to win

the SuperBowl. The young Bosnian is lionized as the

Great Hero of SuperBowl XXXI, and when Al asks him

what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call

his mother.

"Mom," the young man says into the receiver, "I just won

the SuperBowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You

deserted us. You're not my son."

"I don't think you understand, mother" the young man

pleads. "I just won the greatest sporting event in the

world. I'm in the middle of thousands of adoring fans."

"No, let me tell you," the mother implores. "At this very

moment, there are gunshots all around us. The

neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers

were beaten within an inch of their life last week, and

this week your sister was raped in broad daylight...."

The old lady pauses, in tears, then continues,