I met a guy on the golf course who played

to scratch using nothing more than a large

weight on the end of broom handle for

everywhere except the green, and an old

umbrella for putting.

In the nineteenth, I told him how impressed

I was.

"I guess it's because I'm a genius" he replied

casually. "I find things so easy that I have to

make everything more difficult."

"Snooker for example," he continued, "I play

with a rubber bung stuck on the end of a

metal pole twisted like a corkscrew. I could

still beat Steve Davis with one hand tied

behind my back. I have to make it difficult, or

I get bored.

"Or rifle shooting," he went on. "I've taken the

sights off the gun, hold it one handed (left hand

even though I'm right handed) sight with my

right eye (even though the gun's in my left hand)

and stand on one leg while the rest lie prone to

hold the weapon stable. Even then, I could win

Bisley whenever I want. Nothing's any fun

unless I can make it into a challenge."

I was impressed. "Got any kids?" I inquired.

"Yes," he replied. "And before you ask...

A couple was golfing one day on a very, very

exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses.

On the third tee the husband said, "Honey, be very

careful when you drive the ball - don't knock out any

windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."

The wife teed up and shanked it right through the

window of the biggest house on the course. The

husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out

for the houses! All right, let's go up there, apologize

and see how much this is going to cost."

They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard

a voice say, "Come on in."

They opened the door and saw glass all over the

floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer.

A man on the couch said, "Are you the people that

broke my window?"

"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." the husband replied.

"No, actually I want to thank you - I'm a genie that

was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle.

You've released me. I'm allowed to grant three

wishes - I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep

the last one for myself."

"OK, great!" the husband said. " I want a million

dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem - it's the least I could do. And you,

what do you want?" the genie said, looking at the

wife.

"I want a house in every country of the world," she

said. "Consider it done." the genie replied.

"And what's your wish, genie?", the husband said.

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I

haven't had sex with a woman in a thousand years.

My wish is to sleep with your wife."

The husband looks at the wife and said, "Well, we

did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey.

I guess I don't care." (And neither did the wife.)

The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her

for two hours. After it was over, the genie rolled

over, looked at the wife, and said, "How old is your

husband, anyway?"

"35." she replied.