joke, I received

1. A few of nasty letters from IRS workers who

blasted my butt for perpetuating hatred for the IRS.

{Huh? I didn't do it! Honest! It's just a joke!}

2. A few *thank you* notes from the IRS agents

who actually had a sense of humor and promised

to circulate the list at work.

3. Several "guilt" letters such as, "How could you!

You're a Tax Accountant!"

4. A zillion of further suggestions on what to do

with tax returns. Most of these suggestions are

*not* printable.

Personally, I wouldn't recommend doing any of it,

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American

friend and was jokingly explaining about the red,

white and blue in the Netherlands flag.

"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get

red when we talk about them, white when we get our

tax bill, and blue after we pay them."

"Oh, that's the same with us," nodded the American,

"Only we see stars, too!"  

<>*<>*<>*<>*<> Quickie du Jour <>*<>*<>*<>*<>

"Dear IRS I would like to cancel my subscription.

Please remove my name from your mailing list..."

Don't you wish you *could* do that? - ^v^ LadyHawke

Well, it's tax time again, boys and girls. So cough it up

if you haven't already! But no one says you have to go

gentle into that dark night. Here are some hints on how

to annoy the IRS if you owe them money...

1. Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead

and put them down the whole right side. The extractors

who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take

out any staples on the right side.

2. Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even

facing the right way. Put a few upside down and

backwards. That way they have to remove all your

staples, rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it

(on the left side).

3. Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue

and let it dry before you put in you forms, so that the

automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor

has to open it by hand.

4. If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, use

a two or three party check. On top of paying with a third

party check, pay one of the dollars you owe in cash.

When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small

an amount, s/he has to take it to a special desk and fill

out of few nasty forms.

5. Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received

has to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or

what it's on.

6. Write your letter on something misshapen and

unconventional. Like on the back of a Kroger sack.

7. When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its

just a single EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn

and sorted differently than regular business size ones.

An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take

priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and

deal with your mess.

8. If you send two checks, they'll have to staple your

unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.

9. Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign

fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.

10. Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature

has to be verified and then date stamped.

These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can

do with the IRS. These methods are *only* recommended