Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely

evening, the husband was met at the door by his

sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the

druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the

phone."

Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost

the druggist and demand an apology. Before he

could say more than a word or two, the druggist told

him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This

morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting

up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car,

but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both

house and car keys inside. I had to break a window

to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding

ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a

flat tire.

When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of

people waiting for me to open up. I got the store

opened and started waiting on these people, and all

the time the darn phone was ringing its head off.

Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash

register drawer to make change, and they spilled all

over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to

pick up the nickels - the phone is still ringing - when I

came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer,

which made me stagger back against a showcase

with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them

hit the floor and broke. The phone is still ringing with

no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was

your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal

My family physician told me of an incident that

actually happened to him back in the early days

of his practice.

He said a woman brought her baby to see him,

and he determined right away that the baby had

an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops.

In the directions he wrote, "Put two drops in right

ear every four hours" and he abbreviated "right"

as an R with a circle around it.

Several days passed, and the woman returned

with her baby, complaining that the baby still had

an earache, and his little behind was getting really

greasy with all those drops of oil.

The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and

sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the

following instructions on the label