Joke du Jour (tm) Set 1. Volume 13; Issue 8.  Jan 8, 1999

At one time of my life, I was going to sell insurance. Somehow, I am glad I didn't end doing it...

Q:  What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?
A:  An insurance company.

LadyHawke
*~*~*~*~*~*

"Insurance"

Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company.

Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money."

The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth."

There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."

"Hard Sell"

An insurance salesman was trying to persuade a housewife that she should take out life insurance.

Suppose your husband were to die," he said, "What would you get?"

The housewife thought for a while, and then said, "Oh, a parrot, I think. Then the house wouldn't seem so quiet."

"Insurance Money"     

A woman recently lost her husband.  She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.  Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter...

Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?"

She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"

She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?"

She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"

Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that blow job I promised you?  Here it comes..."