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You Know You're...

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“You Know You're Getting Old When.......”

 

  • Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
  • Your knees buckle, but your belt won't.
  • You sit down in a rocking chair and can't get it started.
  • You feel like the day after, but you haven't been anywhere the night before.
  • You regret all those times you resisted temptation.
  • You order Geritol-on-the-rocks at the local bar.
  • You think gay means, "happy, lively, and vivacious."
  • You look forward to spending a quiet evening at home.
  • Your back goes out more often than you do.
  • You know all the answers, but no one asks you the questions.
  • The last president you enjoyed voting for was Dwight D. Eisenhower.
  • Your little black book only has names ending with an M.D.
  • You need oxygen after blowing out your birthday candles.
  • Your mind makes promises your body can't keep.
  • You finally get it all together and can't remember where you put it.
  • You start having bran flakes and prune juice for breakfast.
  • You remember today that your birthday was yesterday.
  • You get worn-out dialing long distance.
  • You buy an Easy-rider to hang your clothes on.
  • You have more hair on your body than on your head.
  • You just can't seem to get around to procrastinating.
  • Your favorite newspaper column is "25 Years Ago Today."
  • You don't need an alarm clock to get up at 5 AM.
  • Your pharmacy bill is more than your grocery bill.
  • You receive a Senior Citizens' discount without asking for it.
  • You can't see what you weigh without bending over.
  • You are glad that the mirrors are fogged up when you get out of the shower.
  • You need your glasses..........to find your teeth!
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