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“Taxes in Heaven”

One day, a man named Tony, died. When he stood before G-d to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did, and G-d told him that he cheated on his income taxes. The Lord said that the only way he could get into heaven would be to sleep with a 500 pound, stupid, butt-ugly woman for the next five years and enjoy it. Tony thought about it and decided that this was a small price to pay for an eternity in heaven. So, pretending to be happy, he went off with this enormous woman.

As he was walking along, he saw his friend Carlos up ahead. Carlos was with an even bigger, uglier hairier woman than he had. When he approached Carlos he asked him what was going on, and Carlos replied, "I cheated on my income taxes and schemed the government out of a lot of money... even more than you did!" They both shook their heads in understanding and figured that as long as they have to be with these women, they might as well hang out together to help pass the time.

Now Tony, Carlos, and their two beastly women were walking along, minding their own business when Tony and Carlos could have sworn that they saw their friend Jon up ahead, only this man was with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous supermodel/centerfold.  Stunned, Tony and Carlos approached the man, and, in fact, it was their friend Jon. They asked him how is he with this unbelievable seductress, while they were stuck with these G-d-awful women. Jon replied, "I have no idea, and I'm definitely not complaining. This has been absolutely the best time of my (after)life, and I have had five years of the best sex any man could hope for to look forward to. There is only one thing that I can't seem to understand... After every time we have sex, she rolls over and murmurs to herself,  

"Those lousy Income Taxes!!!"