"How to Annoy the IRS"
(Without Getting In Trouble!)
{It's definitely payback time - IRS has admitted to harassing us all these
years. Let's get 'em!}
1. Always put staples in the
right hand corner. Go ahead and put them down
the whole right side. The extractors who
remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples on the right side.
2. Never arrange paperwork in the
right order, or even facing the right way. Put
a few upside down and backwards. That way they
have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left
side).
3. Line the bottom of your
envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in you forms, so that the
automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.
4. If you're very unfortunate and
have to pay taxes, send two or three party check. On
top of paying with a third party check, pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how
small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.
5. Write a little letter of
appreciation. Any letter received has to be
read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.
6. Write your letter on something
misshapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a Kroger sack.
7. When you mail it, mail it in a
big envelope (even if it’s just a single EZ form).
Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business
size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope
is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your
mess.
8. If you send two checks,
they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.
9. Always put extra paper clips
on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the
like have to be removed and put away.
10. Sign your name in ink on
every page. Any signature has to be verified
and then date stamped.
These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with the IRS. These methods are ONLY recommended when you owe
money.
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