| "A Dog Fight"
The Americans and Russians, at the height of the arms race realized that if
they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the world. One day they sat
down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have five
years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be
entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
The Russians found the biggest and meanest Doberman and Rottweiler females in
the world and bred them with the biggest and meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only
the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all
the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest
and meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches
thick, and nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a strange
animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone
felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could
possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog. When the cages were opened up, the
Dachshund
came out of its cage and waddled over towards the Russian dog. The Russian
dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the American dachshund. But, when it
got close enough to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed
the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.
The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in disbelief.
"We don't understand how this could have happened.
We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and
Rottweiller females in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves."
"That's nothing", an American replied. "We had our best
plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."
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