"Tire Iron"
A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Pete is
leafing through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. Saint Peter goes
through the books several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I
can't see that you did anything really good in your life but, you never did anything bad
either. Tell you what, if you can tell me of
one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in."
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Yeah, there was this one time
when I was driving down the highway and I saw a giant group of KKK Biker Gang Rapists
assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my
car to see what was going on, and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of them,
torturing this chick. Infuriated, I got out my
car, grabbed tire iron out of my trunk, and walked straight up to the leader of the gang,
a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the KKK Biker Gang
Rapists formed a circle around me.
So, I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head
with the tire iron. Then I turned around and
yelled to the rest of them, “Leave this poor, innocent girl alone, you slime! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!”
St. Peter, impressed, says, "Really?
When did this happen?"
"Er... about two minutes
ago."
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