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“Redneck Driver's License Application”

Here is our new Driver's License Application for the Atlanta area.  They will start using it in the general South pretty soon…  

Last name: ________________ 

First name:

(_) Billy-Bob

(_) Billy-Joe

(_) Billy-Ray

(_) Billy-Sue

(_) Billy-Mae

(_) Billy-Jack

(Check appropriate box)

Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) 

Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure 

Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

Occupation:

(_) Farmer

(_) Mechanic

(_) Hair Dresser

(_) Un-employed

(_) Dirty Politician

Spouse's Name: __________________________

2nd Spouse's Name: __________________________

3rd Spouse's Name: __________________________

Lover's Name: _________________________

2nd Lover's Name: _________________________

Relationship with spouse:

(_) Sister

(_) Brother

(_) Aunt

(_) Uncle

(_) Cousin

(_) Mother

(_) Father

(_) Son

(_) Daughter

(_) Pet

Number of children living in household: ___

Number of children living in shed: ___

Number that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: _______________________

Father's Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you (_) own or (_) rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box) 

___ Total number of vehicles you own

___ Number of vehicles that still crank

___ Number of vehicles in front yard

___ Number of vehicles in back yard

___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Firearms you own and where you keep them:

____ truck

____ bedroom

____ bathroom

____ kitchen

____ shed

Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_

Do you have a gun rack?

(_) Yes (_) No; If no, please explain:

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:

(_) The National Enquirer

(_) The Globe

(_) TV Guide

(_) Soap Opera Digest

(_) Rifle and Shotgun

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO

___ Number of times you've seen Elvis

___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:

(_) Weekly

(_) Monthly

(_) Not Applicable

Color of teeth:

(_) Yellow

(_) Brownish-Yellow

(_) Brown

(_) Black

(_) N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:

(_) Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?

(_) 1 mile

(_) 2 miles

(_) don't know