"Real-Time Plea Bargaining"
aka "How to Drive in Texas"
A friend of a friend, who is a science geek, used to make frequent trips
between Dallas and Houston. Being a true Texan, he had a foot made of lead.
Not being fond of speeding tickets, though, he devised a solution. He carefully cut thin aluminum strips, packed them
in two cardboard tubes, put a small charge in the end of each, and mounted them under the
front bumper of his car. He mounted a button on his steering column to detonate the
charges.
One day, he was driving along, and his radar detector went off just as he
passed a cop. He popped the button, blowing the tubes, and hit his brakes. The blast blew
the foil out, and the wind quickly distributed it in a "cloud" around the car.
Now, aluminum foil is very light compared to its surface area, so it very
quickly decelerated. Thus, the cop couldn't get a lock on the car.
About a half mile later, the cop pulled up behind him, so he pulled over. He
rolled down his window, and the cop came blustering over, saying, "I don't know what
in the heck you did back there, and I can't write you a speeding ticket. But by DAMNED I'm
gonna write you a ticket for LITTERING!!"
He had left a trail of aluminum foil stretched over several hundred feet,
lining both the median and the emergency lane with foil....
He framed the littering ticket.
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