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"Real-Time Plea Bargaining"
aka "How to Drive in Texas"
   

 

A friend of a friend, who is a science geek, used to make frequent trips between Dallas and Houston. Being a true Texan, he had a foot made of lead.

 

Not being fond of speeding tickets, though, he devised a solution.  He carefully cut thin aluminum strips, packed them in two cardboard tubes, put a small charge in the end of each, and mounted them under the front bumper of his car. He mounted a button on his steering column to detonate the charges.

 

One day, he was driving along, and his radar detector went off just as he passed a cop. He popped the button, blowing the tubes, and hit his brakes. The blast blew the foil out, and the wind quickly distributed it in a "cloud" around the car.

 

Now, aluminum foil is very light compared to its surface area, so it very quickly decelerated. Thus, the cop couldn't get a lock on the car.

 

About a half mile later, the cop pulled up behind him, so he pulled over. He rolled down his window, and the cop came blustering over, saying, "I don't know what in the heck you did back there, and I can't write you a speeding ticket. But by DAMNED I'm gonna write you a ticket for LITTERING!!"

 

He had left a trail of aluminum foil stretched over several hundred feet, lining both the median and the emergency lane with foil....    He framed the littering ticket.


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