“How Hot Is It?”
You Know It's Hot Outside When...
you ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air
conditioning as much as possible
you've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man
the swans in the park come in "original recipe"
and "extra tasty crispy"
the strawberries are ripe and the cab drivers are riper
your pool water starts to boil in the sun
the hot-dogs sold outside Yankee Stadium are actually hot
pigs complain about sweating like fat humans
a scalding hot show still cools you down
people walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into
flames
a $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at
air-conditioned restaurants
the politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan
themselves
you need a spatula to remove your clothing
when the beer gut and the butt crack don't keep you from
wearing shorts
you wish you had gotten the cloth seats instead of leather
you are sweating in both directions -- up and down!
lawyers kill themselves because they know it's cooler in
Hell
the black flies are dropping faster than yours is
you are sitting inside reading these jokes
your brother's braces make blisters on his lips
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