“A Holy Refund”
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him, "What have you done to
merit entrance into Heaven?" The Lawyer
thought a moment, then said,
"A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on
the street." Saint Peter asked Gabriel to
check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true. Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's
not really quite enough to get you into Heaven."
The Lawyer said, “Wait, Wait! There's more!
Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter." Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment
nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do
you suggest we do with this fellow?"
Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, and then said to
Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."
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