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"One Helluva Headache"

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older, he was increasingly hampered by remarkably painful headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life began to suffer, he

sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem.

The doctor said, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that I can cure your headaches, the bad news is that it will require castration.  You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was, of course, both shocked and depressed. He indeed wondered if he even had anything to live for at this point. Yet, he immediately decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital his mind was at long last clear, but naturally he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he felt like an entirely different person.

He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "I'll buy a new suit.  Maybe that will cheer me up!"

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job," said the salesman. Joe tried on the suit, and it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked,

"How about a new shirt?" 

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure ...."

The salesman eyed Joe and said,

"Let's see ... 34 sleeve and ... 16½ neck."

Joe was once again surprised,

"That's exactly right.   How did you know?"

"It's my job," said the salesman, very matter-of-factly.

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly.

As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, 

"How about new shoes?"

Joe was on a roll by this point and said, "Well, sure ...."

The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said,

"Let's see ... 9½ ... wide."

Joe was astonished, "That's right .... How did you know?"

"It's my job," said the salesman. Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked,

"So, how about a new hat?"

Without hesitation, Joe said, "Sure ...."

The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see ... 7 5/8."

Joe was incredulous.

"That's right. Man, how can you tell all of  this?"

"It's my job," reiterated the salesman. The hat fit perfectly.

Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked,

"How about some new under-wear?" 

Joe hesitated for a second and said, "Sure..."

The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said,

"Let's see ... size 36."

Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head,

"No, you can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache!"